The process of adoption and of bringing a child into a new family, whether newborn or teenaged, will require several adjustments to the new family. Because thousands of families have already been through the adoption process, there are family resources provided to help adoptive families build a happy home. These resources include advice on steps to take to prepare for the arrival of a new child, involving the family, ongoing support, and adoption therapy.
Preparing for the arrival of a new child
There are books and websites that act as family resources by preparing and assisting homes with the pre and post adoption processes. When you're preparing for a new child in the home, there are several precautions to take. If you're adopting an infant or toddler, first be sure your home is ready by child-proofing your house. It is better to be overly careful and over-prepare than to make insufficient preparations. A few precautions to take include placing caps on electrical outlets, relocating cleaners out of reach of a child, making sure fire and carbon monoxide detectors are up-to-date, placing locks on your cabinets, and placing emergency telephone numbers by the phone. There may be several other precautions you'll wish to take before you feel your home is ready for your child.
Adoption Therapy
Because adoption is rarely an easy process, the adoption therapy is available for adoptive families as another of many family resources . Research has shown that adoptive families generally seek out therapy more often than non-adoptive families. This generally occurs because the families and the adoptive children may need help during the adjustment process. Children over the age of six or seven have a harder time adjusting to a new family. The memories of children over the age of six are well developed, so children in this age group often cling to memories of the past. Parents tend to seek out therapy to help their child adjust to a new family environment and a new way of life. Children, when learning they were adopted, may begin to question their parents' motivations for adopting them and wonder whether they are really loved. They may begin to wonder how to gain a connection with their birth mother or father (some children will temporarily view the birth parents as their “real” parents). Adoption therapy can help parents work with their child through the questions that may arise either in the beginning or several years down the road.
Ongoing Support
It is commonly known that adoptive families need ongoing support after many years with the adoptive family. Many times adoptive children have ongoing behavior problems that require more than just good parenting skills to solve. Adoptive children who have been in previously negligent households may exhibit low self-esteem, feelings of powerlessness, and possibly fear of closeness. The ongoing support available will help you and your child cope with these feelings.
Remember that you are not in this alone; family resources are available to make you and your child happier. These resources can help you both prepare for and solve problems more peacefully. The birthmother of your child will want a peaceful and happy home for the child to which she gave birth. Make sure you prepare and keep the best home environment for your adopted child and be prepared to deal with common adoptive problems that may arise.
By: Amber Callister