Being a birth giver is an honor. Giving the gift of life is a wonderful thing and should be recognized as such. As a woman in this position, you should have some important information.
Websites:
Some good online sites to explore as a birthmother are: www.adopting.org/. They have information on unplanned pregnancy, adoption and adoptive families, adoptees and birth parents, friends and support, and adoption products. There’s all kinds of great information here including conferences and workshops and links to sister sites (www.adoption.com, www.adoption.org, and www.adoptionsites.com).
Another site is www.dearbirthmother.us. At this site, you will find search options that will help you locate adoptive parents and give you links to their Websites. You view their letters and can browse the different families hoping to adopt.
At www.adoptionhelp.org/birthmother you have an independent adoption center. They say, “Open adoption is your right to choose.” They have counselors available 24 hours a day at 1-800-877-6736. There’s great information on open adoption, birth giver rights, birthfathers and choices.
Lifemothers is found at http://lifemothers.com. They celebrate “lifemothers” which is their word for “birthmother”. Skye Hardwick, the founder and a lifemother herself, and creator of the term, says it very well, “A Birthmother places the needs of her child above the wants of her heart.” The page has several links to interesting topics. There is a connections list, a contest, Lifemom of the Month, articles, message forum, stories, adoption links, adoptive parents, a search and reunion page, book reviews, Christian links and more. It is a good Website to find support and resources. Hardwick herself writes for Adoption Today Magazine and has other involvements with adoption. This Website will help you make the connection with other birthmothers in your state.
Birth Rights:
On the Website listed above, you can discover your rights. The Independent Adoption Center and the National Federation for Open Adoption Education will support you in your rights. Even if those rights are not legally guaranteed. They believe the agencies, lawyers, and adoptive parents should respect the rights of the birth giver.
First of all, these groups believe a birth giver has the right to participate in every phase of the adoption process and to select the adoptive family. You, as a birth giver, have the right to select prescreened and pre-approved parents, and meet and interview as many of these families as you wish. After all, it is a big decision and a birth giver has to feel sure about it. You have the right to see the home environment that your baby will be raised in. You should have ongoing contact and information about your child as agreed upon by all parties during the adoption process. There are many rights listed on this Website. Any prospective birth giver would be at an advantage to know them. As the birthmother, you have the choices and should exercise your rights. You should find an agency that gives you the respect you deserve. Afterwards, you could find a community or support group to help you with your feelings concerning your child’s adoption.
By Laura Hogg