Because adoption has effects that last for life, adoption agencies recognize their clients as life-long clients. Agencies offer birthmother services for people at any stage of the adoption process. These stages even include the time before the birthmother has decided she wants to have her child adopted, as well as several years after the birth of the child when the birthmother may still struggle with questions about contacting her child. The social workers at these agencies almost always provide these services for free, and the agencies have people available 24 hours a day, seven days a week for you to discuss any kinds of issues.
Even more importantly than all the services that adoption agencies provide for birthmothers, the environment of the agency and the attitudes of the social workers and counselors should tell you about the quality of care. You should feel comfortable to visit the agency and talk to them, no matter what you have decided or thought about your baby’s future. Agencies will provide birthmother services to you whether you decide to have your baby adopted or if you decide to raise it yourself. You should not feel any pressure to make a decision one way or the other, and the workers should reassure you that you can change your mind as many times as you want before the legal paperwork goes in. No matter what you decide, the law requires that your sessions be confidential, so you should feel comfortable discussing personal issues and asking any questions that you have.
If you do consider adoption for your baby, then your main responsibility involves deciding on a birth family and feeling secure in your decision. You don’t have to worry about the legal and financial issues, which the agency takes care of for you, while at the same time informing you of its actions. At most agencies, you have the choice of how you want to have your child adopted. You can either choose to pick a family that your friends or relatives have recommended to you, or you can choose to pick a family registered with the adoption agency by looking at books and photo albums and meeting them in person, if you want. You can also choose to have the agency find a family that it thinks will work best for your child. Whichever process you decide on, remember that the agency will help you with any concerns you have about your child’s future, as well as your own.
Adoption agencies also offer birthmother services for financial assistance, whether you decide to have your baby adopted or raise it yourself. The agency will provide medical care and prenatal care during your pregnancy. If you have lost income from lack of employment, or if you have lost support from parents, then the agency can provide help with apartment rent or even provide temporary arrangements for living in a maternity home or host family. Social workers will also help you make hospital arrangements for the baby’s birth, and you can decide on factors such as how much contact you want with the baby and how much you want the adoptive parents to be involved at the hospital. Planning for these things in advance will make your hospital stay much more comfortable.
You can only sign the legal papers for adoption after waiting at least 24 hours after the birth of the baby. From the time you sign the papers, you also have 10 days to change your mind about your decision. No matter how much contact you decide you want with the child in the future, you can also choose to register your name with national adoption agencies so that when your child gets older, he or she can look you up. Also, make sure you stay in touch with the adoption agency after the birth for continued birthmother services, support and planning for your future after the adoption.
By Lisa Zyga